Moo! The Musings of a Plaid Cow

I’m still betting on the monkeys.

If you have ever wondered which phishers succeed, have a look at this website which asks you for your: * Credit Card Number * The code on your signature panel * Mother’s Maiden Name * Your Current User ID * Your password

This isn’t a scam: it’s the real Citibank website for changing your password. (To get here manually, go to citicards.com and click on the “Forgot Password” link.)

At least the Customer Service representatives on the phone sounded indignant at the reference to phishing.

In another unsubstantiated news report (which seem to be all the rage these days) I remember hearing that the US House of Representatives canned a bill that would have exempted liability for not-for-profit athletic organizations except in the case of gross negligence.

Isn’t that the way it should be now? Or did everyone sign that new paper that keeps you from being responsible for anything?

While driving home last Friday it seems that everyone had come down with “A Case of the Stupids”: 1. A car that had slowed down and gotten in the exit lane suddenly decided that it was the wrong exit and swerved back into the driving lane. Without checking to make sure that I wasn’t already occupying that lane. 2. A truck was pulling a trailer with some one-by steel box section in the back. Which had not been tied down. And had shifted to pointing at the back corners of the trailer. Both of them. So this trailer is now two lanes wide and taking space in three, ready to impale passers by like a javelin. 3. A car decides that traffic is not moving fast enough and decides to pass everyone in the breakdown lane / emergency lane / part of the road you’re not supposed to be driving on.

As I have spent more time in driving in the Northeast, driving in and around Boston, MA has become easier (though probably a little more frightening). The unfortunate facts are that the Rules for Driving in Boston which are found on many humor sites are actually true. I will need to start keeping my own list though:

• If you are on a multi-lane road and passed on the right, the correction is to immediately merge left another lane.
• The breakdown lanes are always useful for passing on the right.
• White-lining must be OK–no one has opened their door on me yet.

A new site design is finished (at least the main page). Perhaps with this one I will actually get around to finishing the other pages also. Other things to finish include an overhaul of the categories and posting more often.

Let me know what you think.

A while back a friend wrote a poignant piece on what Danger is:

Some say that danger lies in unknown situations and unpredictable circumstances. I say danger, true danger, lies in knowing exactly what is ahead, yet walking into the fray anyway. To have so much disregard for one’s own intuition is to be guilty of a horrible crime. How many times must the mistake be made before the maker realizes the futility of the action? Where is the sanity in repeating stupidity? Are we not evolved beings well beyond animal lack of control? Some would say yes. I offer myself as proof to the contrary. I am constantly in danger and although I always see the outcome of my mistakes I blindly repeat them. Over and over, until one day they will lock me up and put a sign on my cage that says “she spit on her intuition and ran headlong into danger.”

I can’t remember if the piece was written specifically for me or not. It might not even be a good idea to remember.

Too dangerous.

Human memory is a wierd thing: it seems that important things come and go, while other semi-useless bits remain around. Like these vocal warmup exercises I learned in my high school drama club: * Roll those big round vowel sounds * She makes a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee pot * What a to do to die today at a minute (or two) till two. A thing distinctly hard to say, but harded still to do.

These stories (from a recent email) take note of stupidity that is just too far out there to be made up.

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, how much do you charge for a shampoo and a “blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word… he knew better. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

2. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just lookingat your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, andI turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget

3. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to releasesome pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night! “The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.

4. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Dannyhad not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No.” I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped &! nbsp;up,yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feels better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

5. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any….a true story…We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob,where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!