Moo! The Musings of a Plaid Cow

You know it’s going to be a long morning when…

…your doughnuts start pancaking…

…and you haven’t even had your morning coffee.

When trying to save a spreadsheet in Excel the other day, I got this incredibly informative dialog box:

At least it was equitable about it and showed it to me when I tried to save to a network drive or “save as” to a local drive. Brilliant design.

Heard over the management conference room wall at work this week:

We can’t miss the cost estimate on this when were only forecasting two weeks–we’ll look drunk and disorderly.

When Amazon posts their recommendations for what you wight want to buy, usually they are spot on. This time, I don’t get the connection:

I miss the corporate instant messaging that we had access to at my previous job. Like this little gem with my manager:

(16:13:38) Cindy: still trying to figure out [your project's] org charts here!
(16:20:54) Randy: yeah, me too. let me know if they start making sense
(16:21:07) Randy: cause right after that, the dead relatives start beckoning
(16:21:09) Cindy: I may not live that long
(16:21:25) Cindy: I see we are thinking along the same lines here!

What do a fat lady and a brick have in common?

• They tend to hurt people if dropped from tall heights. (Jeremy)
• They both have holes, but not everyone wants to stick it to them. (John)
• It’s just a matter of time before a mexican lays one… (Brian)
• They’re both measured in tons! (Josh)
• If you lay them right, they never move afterwards…
• Some people say if you see brick on a house the inside may look real nice. They also say if you see a fat girl at a party her friends may look real nice too. (David)

Advice for my former dentist: If your whole office take a lunch break every day, and will not be answering the phones, put it on your answering machine message!

My boss sent out an email letting us know hat he will be on vacation (Paid Time Off) this next week:

I’m going to be on PTO from Tuesday 10 October 2006 through Friday 13 October 2006, inclusive. However, I’ll be in town and I will be making occasional cameo appearances into the office. Feel free to call me on my cellphone, and as needed I can come in for meetings or participate in teleconferences. I’ll have my computer with me for e-mail as well.

I think that he has a slightly different version of what vacation means than I do.

Crikey! My checkbook will miss you.

I got this list of how you know you’re from Louisville way back in December of 2004. Might as well publish it now, since most of it is true:

• Your international airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous states
• The in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship
• You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes… but have no capacity to deal with any of the above
• You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you’ve heard
• You think the rest of the people in Kentucky sound like hicks
• When you think “Kentucky” you don’t automatically think horse racing or fried chicken
• You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to move
• You’ve shoveled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week
• When people ask what school you went to, they don’t mean Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, or Harvard; they mean St. X, Trinity, Male, Sacred Heart or Assumption
• You know what the “Bambi Walk” is
• You’ll always call Fourth Street Live the Galleria
• Your last ten vacations were to Destin with at least five other families from Louisville who you already see on a weekly basis
• You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake
• You’ve lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park
• You’re convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle
• You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don’t know into your lane
• You give directions based on landmarks that no longer exist or street names that have changed, but your directions never confuse any of the other Louisvillians;
• You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn’t miss the Oaks
• You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss&em;who also called in sick&em;at the next betting window;
• You introduced your friends to mint juleps in college only until you found yourself the only one not passed out at the party
• You think all the “REAL HICKS” live in New Albany
• You think the only thing southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins
• When introduced to another life long Louisvillian, you spend the first part of the conversation finding out how you are connected. it’s never as many as six degrees of separation-usually three will do
• You think a pervert is someone who would rather have sex than watch basketball;
• You’ve built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement
• You can read about Rick Pitino in at least three different sections of your newspaper
• You think the rest of the world knows what “Benedictine Spread” is
• You think the rest of the world knows what a “Hot Brown” is
• You have never eaten fish that wasn’t fried
• You think the whole world puts spaghetti in chili
• You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn’t cut through your neighborhood
• You’ve experienced a salt storm after a two inch snowfall