Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not […]
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter’s elopement. FML Which is why you call your credit card […]
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML Maybe she would have stayed if you could explain why you were keeping her bra in your cupboard.
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can’t handle taking care of any living thing because I’m too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Many people on F My Life are just unclear on the concept: Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn’t believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose.
F My Life has a nice story about a babysitter: Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML It seems to be a common thing, all pointing to the […]