Moo! The Musings of a Plaid Cow

Every time I hear Kris Kristofferson introduce 8th of November, I get a picture in my head of Gary Busey (as he appeared in the short film “Get Out of My Dreams and Also Out of My Car: A Guide to Your Restraining Order” in an episode of the Simpsons’, with the rambling: “Now Joe can’t come within 500 feet of Mary. He also can’t call her, or burn his name in gas on her lawn. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, Joe is me. And Mary is a composite of 12 different women and a small independent film company all of whom couldn’t deal with me because I’m too real.”)

What does it all mean? Hopefully nothing. I can’t stand that real.

The recent radio commercials for First New England Mortgage ask “Is your mortgage an asset or liability?”.

If this is the caliber of customer they are looking for, then I definitely want to stay away from them.

George Martel, the Chief Operating Officer of Woburn Toyota, notes in his new radio commercials that all dealers pay the same price for their new Toyotas and that his dealership is dedicated to advertising in a clear and understandable manner.

Apparently he finds the advertising of Boch Toyota to be deceptive. Ernie Boch Jr, of Boch Automotive Enterprises, says in their advertising that “Nine times out of ten I can sell you a new Toyota for less, because our costs are less. We have no mortages and pay cash for our new Toyotas.”

Apparently George thinks that the price of raw materials (Toyotas) is the only expense that a business has that affects the final price of the new Toyota. I’m not sure that I would actually want to buy a Toyota from a company that thinks customers are that stupid, even though they may be right.

I think there are some advertisements I don’t understand because the people making them up just didn’t put enough thought into them, or they just weren’t meant for me. Woburn Toyota was advertising Presidential Day savings this past Monday. I think I understand what they meant, but why not just say it in the first place?

I really like the service at Town Fair Tire. Free rotation. Free flat repair. The best part being: it doesn’t matter whether or not you buy tires there–they still provide the free services. That being said, I found the following phrases on placards next to various rims on the wheel display at the front of the store: “Bling Bling Homies!”, “Off Da Heezy!!”, and “Dubs What!”. I think I know what the first one means, but as for the rest, I have no clue. If there had been any homies waiting for their free service, I would have asked them, but there weren’t any folks down wit that.

On the radio there was a commercial for The WebSite Solution from Register.com. The business talking about why they were going to do this had recently lost a “big” sale because they didn’t have a web site. Now for an additional charge Register.com will set up a professional web site for the in only 20 minutes. What a great solution!

Until you would start to investigate the special $29.95 price of the domain registration (on sale from a normal $35 charge). I only pay $8.95 a year for even better service from GoDaddy. They even have a comparison chart on prices. Either they’re losing their shirt or you’re getting screwed. Check the subject.

Yesterday I was listening to the radio while they were advertising a new miniseries on USA Networks: “The critics agree that Traffic (based on the award winning movie) is completely original.” Here’s an original idea: buy a dictionary.

Today the station was advertising “Gil Santos: Voice of the Patriots” with background music by Nirvana (Smells Like Teen Spirit). I hope they aren’t expecting Gil to say anything intelligible.

According to a radio commercial for The Harbor Lights, they have a bright staff. I wonder if one of their own wrote the commercial.